If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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