you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
