She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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