I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
