Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
What a dumb baby whore.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
