dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
