Heybabeimwearingurpanties
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
