You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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