At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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