Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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