More tranny stories later!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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