ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
