party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
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