Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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