last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
