Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
