***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
