id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
