Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
