he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
How's work?
Spinning.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
