I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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