Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

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(916): View more from California

awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?

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(519): View more from Ontario

hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?

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