yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
