Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
