Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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