i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
