So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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