he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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