I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
