Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You took a bar mat shot.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
