my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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