For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
