You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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