okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
