If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
