Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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