ya dads aren't the best wingmen
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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