We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
