this beer tastes like vomit already
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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