wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
