you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
