Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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