I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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