remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
