Im at strip club and am horny
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
