Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
