So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
