the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
