Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
