took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
